My take on the railways budget and Sachin...

...and in fact I'll start in the reverse order

Sachin:
He's done it again! Once again, Mr. Tendulkar has silenced his critics who say age is catching up to him and it's time to hang them boots (and I include myself in that list). A lot has been said already about this, so all I'll say is it's great that an Indian holds the record, and who better than the poster boy of Indian cricket to be one to hold it.

Railways budget:
I can do a really good impersonation of Cuba Gooding Jr from the movie Jerry McGuire, where he shouts and asks Tom Cruise's character to say "Show me the money". Which is exactly what I'd like to ask Mamta Bannerjee, show me the money, you short, loud-mouthed, obnoxious little bimbo! Where the heck is the money going to come from for all the new trains and the water bottling plants you've proposed while keeping the fares at the same rate and in fact reducing freight rates for certain commodities? And I don't even know much about economics!

Is this a precursor to the finance budget, where we, the middle class, the real aam aadmi, will have to bear the brunt? FYI to to the blue turbaned chap at 7 Race Course Road, in case you forgot, you just screwed us out of Rs. 65,000,00,00,000 last year - that's Rs. 65,000 crores., for those who'd go dizzy looking at the number of zeroes. And after the major screw up with the 3G spectrum, where prices were set at an extremely low price, you screwed us out of another Rs. 29,000,00,00,000 - that's Rs. 29,000 crores. That's a total of Rs. 94,000 crores that we're never going to see again. So I ask you, oh great PM, will I have to tighten my belt a little more so that you guys can continue to give sops to those who don't deserve them? Don't I deserve a break as well? Why is it that for want of remaining in power, you go around increasing the fiscal deficit, especially since you and your generation may not last beyond the next 10 years, but I and my clan of youngsters will have to reap the problems from the seeds you've sown today? You're supposed to be a good man with a clean image Mr. PM, start acting like one. Please.

Don't our cricketers have to vote?

The IPL and BCCI bosses may have made a big deal about accusing the government for moving the IPL out of the country, and denying the fans a chance to watch their 'heroes' live and cheer them at the stadium, but the question that doesn't seem to be asked is "don't the cricketers, being citizens of the country, have to vote?". Although voting is a fundamental right, I don't think there is a fundamental duty attached to this. However, that still doesn't excuse the BCCI from denying the cricketers their right to vote.

As cricketers, the players are role models to a lot of youngsters, and they need to set the right example by exercising their vote and egging the youth to do the same. By sending the cricketers on a tour (on national duty) or to play for their clubs, the BCCI is sending out very wrong signals to the youth. First off, the audacity to be steadfast in their initial itenary to hold the IPL in April-May when everyone knew right from 2004 that is the govt was going to go the distance, the next elections would be in the summer of 2009. And secondly, since IPL 1 was such a success, why couldn't plans be drawn soon after the conclusion for IPl 2 and make the tour in March, thus giving the other cricket boards enough time(well ok, may not be enough, but certainly better than the current scenario) to tweak the schedules and tours of their respective teams.

Mr Pawar, you can't have everything your way, be it in cricket or in politics. As agriculture minister, you went ahead to import the largest quantity of wheat, for a country that ushered in the green revolution, at astronomical rates to further burden the exchequer. And now you want to be the prime minister, without realising that running the country isn't as easy as running a cricket board. The ICC may bow to your demands because our board generates the maximum revenue for the game, but all the people won't dance to your tunes all the time because you can exhibit your money power in front of them.

When the Aussies come calling

The first test is over, the match ended in a draw, which is good for us because we were able to claw our way back from a position that should have resulted in victory for the Aussies. Zaheer Khan is the hero, and with good reason. The burly man put up a great show with the bat and ball to bring us back into the game, and we finally got to see a bit of the Aussie brashness.

Haddin ticked Zaheer off, enough for him to put up a great show. But more importantly, it's a sign of things to come. We all know the Aussies can't keep their mouth shut when they're in a spot of bother, and we know that most Indians tend to react, and at times over-react to a situation, and when it comes to insults, no one can beat the Aussies. Which is why I chose to create a list of loose British and Aussie slang that our boys in blue ought to learn to dish it out to them Aussies! And oh, before I forget, this has to be said with the typical Aussie twang or a laboured Yorkshire drawl.

1. Oye ya bloody wanka (wanker)! You look pretty bladdered after last night; didja have a bender?
2. Oye Matty, did ya bonk Ricky last night? Ee looks pretty 'urt mate!
3. Hey Pup (Michael Clarke), why're ye camping it up here mate?
4. Haddin, you wanna 'ave a chin wag eh? Sorry mate, don't do tha' sorta thing with a stinkin' dingo.
5. Full o' beans today, aren't we fellows?
6. Oye, wanna take a hard one in the goolies?
7. Oye Ricky, 'ave we got a few Kangaroos loose in the top paddock today?
8. Hey Shane, doin' a lil aerial ping pong are we?
9. Oh boy, your bowling figures are a dogs breakfast, aren't they mate?
10. What a bitzer ye turned out ta be!

It's ok if a lot of it didn't make sense to you, but it's worth an attempt. And mind you, no awful stuff, just the sort of merry banter that the Aussies are used to.

Myth of the sportive Chennai crowd and other IPL stories

I am writing this entry after watching Bangalore beat Hyderabad by 5 wickets, in another thriller that finished in a flurry of sixes (B Akhil carting poor Chamara Silva over the ropes 3 times in an over to seal victory). Apart from a victory, which is always welcome considering the way Bangalore started off their campaign, what came as a pleasant surprise was the applause Bangalore received from the Hyderabad fans, and a small posse dressed in Royal Challengers colours (I'm guessing Bangalore ex-pats). Quite a contrast to the sounds that emanated from the MA Chidambaram stadium when Bangalore beat Chennai in the reverse encounter. There were no applauses (or if there were, the microphones which are pretty sensitive didn't pick them up) when Dravid was called forward during the presentations, which was probably the only time the crowd could have actually clapped because otherwise for the most part of the evening, the game was pretty drab. But like I said, the absence of applauses was almost deafening, especially considering the fact that the Chennai team received their fair share of plaudits when they beat Bangalore at the Chinnaswamy stadium, including whistles and applauses from your's truly, who was thrilled to have witnessed a game as thrilling as that in the early stages of the IPL. I must state here that although I would have liked to watch Bangalore win, all I hoped for was a GOOD game, which I got to see.

So I come back to my question, does the crowd's sportive image take a back seat when it comes to issues where blood is thicker than water (in the Bangalore-Chennai case, quite literally I might say)? Almost everyone would remember the magnanimous gesture of the Chennai crowd when Pakistan beat India in a nail-biting test match after Sachin TendulKar almost single handedly took us to victory. I wasn't expecting a similar gesture, but a round of applause when the victorious captain took the stage during the presentations was certainly called for. What surprised me equally, if not more, was an article I read by Siddhartha Vaidyanathan, an assistant editor with cricketnext.com. Now if you read the article, I won't blame you if it left you a bit perplexed. The vitriol against the Bangalore side was unmistakable, but more importantly, Siddhartha puts the blame squarely on Bangalore for Chennai's loss. He lambasted them for the pathetic batting display (which I too agree was very poor... I mean losing 4 wickets for 40 runs inside the first 10 overs... come on!!!) and makes it sound like the Chennai team lost interest in the game because of Bangalore's shoddy display with the bat. There were more kudos showered on the Chennai players than the Bangalore players, except for Kumble, so I have to assume Siddhartha is a fan of Jumbo. Although there was a mention of the fiery pace of Dale Steyn, again, he attributed the wickets of Morkel and Vidyut to their own ambitions. Somehow, I'm certain that if Morkel's hook had gone for six over backward square leg instead of into the hands of the fielder posted there, Sid would have been showering praises on the Springbok all-rounder for carting his compatriot over the top. If the game was as lackluster as he says it was (and trust me, he got that right, it was), then I don't think the reporter should have praised the Chennai bowlers, because by his own admission, the Bangalore team had batted poorly. Come on Sid, be a little more neutral at least when you strut your trade. Aren't media editors supposed to be neutral (at least pretend to be neutral)?

Cricket crowds in India can be very fickle. Yuvraj made a lame comment to the Mumbai crowd about not support his team because some of them played for India too. Yuvraj, looks like you still have a long way to go before you can be crowned Maharaj, so until then remember that in that game, Mohali played Mumbai and the fact that a player represents India is immaterial in this context. Actually, for the Kolkatta crowd, even that doesn't matter, for the communist citizens put state above country, as was very apparent when India took on South Africa in a one day game soon after Rahul Dravid was made captain, displacing Ganguly. The crowd booed Dravid, and booed the Indian team because an out-of-form Dada, who at that time was a liability to the team, was dropped. In their defence, they're communists, they'er a little kooky, so such things are part and parcel of the delusional life they lead.

One last thing Siddhartha got right was that the pitch wasn't the cause for the poor batting display. Righto, it did not hide any demons, and the crowds did not hide their emotions. They were stunned into a zombie-like trance because they lost to, of all the teams, Bangalore. Come on Chennai, Indian cricket needs your sportiveness, since the Kolkattans have lost theirs (actually they never had any, it was just the charm of the Eden Gardens all along), so don't go bonkers over a T20 game. A lot of water will pass from the Cauvery, get your act straight.

Among other positives that have emerged from the IPL is Rahul Dravid's batting. He has shown time and again why he is considered to be India's most reliable batsman. He has adjusted to the new format quite nicely, and so I hope the selectors at least consider his name for the 50 over version of the game. Of course, that would be a pipe dream, given the fact that Dhoni himself was the one responsible for Dravid's ouster from the team because he didn't want 'older players' (but why he didn't ask for Sachin to be dropped as well will remain a mystery, although I think we all know the answer to that one) and the tension between the two was visible even during the toss at the Chidambaram stadium, and Vengsarkar's dislike for Dravid. However, it's also nice to see the likes of Abhishek Nayar, Dhawal Kulkarni, Shreevats Goswami, Ashoke Dinda and Manpreet Gony shine in the limelight. But is it right to drop (or not select) a player who is playing as well as, if not better than the younger lot, just because he happens to be on the wrong side of 30? According to the thoughts that flow between the ears of our Ranchi dada, the answer seems to be, sadly, yes.

And finally, although there were a lot of shining stars and stellar performances by the younger generation, I hope against hope that they are not selected directly into the Indian senior or A teams merely based on their performances in the IPL. The IPL is should be seen more in terms of a launch pad, rather than a back door short-cut entry into the national side. Bowling 4 overs at an economy rate or 7 or 8 with a wicket or two may be fine in a 20-20, but that certainly doesn't merit a cap in the national side (or the A team for that matter). These performances ought to be considered by the state selectors and the players need to be drafted into the state Ranji teams, which is the correct route that needs to be followed. One can only hope that the selectors have their thinking caps on (wishful, I know).