When the Aussies come calling

The first test is over, the match ended in a draw, which is good for us because we were able to claw our way back from a position that should have resulted in victory for the Aussies. Zaheer Khan is the hero, and with good reason. The burly man put up a great show with the bat and ball to bring us back into the game, and we finally got to see a bit of the Aussie brashness.

Haddin ticked Zaheer off, enough for him to put up a great show. But more importantly, it's a sign of things to come. We all know the Aussies can't keep their mouth shut when they're in a spot of bother, and we know that most Indians tend to react, and at times over-react to a situation, and when it comes to insults, no one can beat the Aussies. Which is why I chose to create a list of loose British and Aussie slang that our boys in blue ought to learn to dish it out to them Aussies! And oh, before I forget, this has to be said with the typical Aussie twang or a laboured Yorkshire drawl.

1. Oye ya bloody wanka (wanker)! You look pretty bladdered after last night; didja have a bender?
2. Oye Matty, did ya bonk Ricky last night? Ee looks pretty 'urt mate!
3. Hey Pup (Michael Clarke), why're ye camping it up here mate?
4. Haddin, you wanna 'ave a chin wag eh? Sorry mate, don't do tha' sorta thing with a stinkin' dingo.
5. Full o' beans today, aren't we fellows?
6. Oye, wanna take a hard one in the goolies?
7. Oye Ricky, 'ave we got a few Kangaroos loose in the top paddock today?
8. Hey Shane, doin' a lil aerial ping pong are we?
9. Oh boy, your bowling figures are a dogs breakfast, aren't they mate?
10. What a bitzer ye turned out ta be!

It's ok if a lot of it didn't make sense to you, but it's worth an attempt. And mind you, no awful stuff, just the sort of merry banter that the Aussies are used to.