Thursday, April 20, 2006

You bloody Indian

“Stop says the red light, go says the green, ready says the yellow one, blinking in between”. I’m sure all of have heard this little rhyme when we were kids. I’m also sure that today, more than 90% of ‘us’ still have no problems in jumping a red light, or breaking the signal when we realise that there are no vehicles coming from the other side. I have just introduced you to one of the several unique identity traits that can only be described as ‘Indian’. Welcome to the world of the Indian mentality, where things like ‘good Samaritan’, ‘respect for the law’, and ‘law-abiding’ have been replaced by things like ‘we are like this only’, ‘so what…why should I’, and ‘swalpa adjust maadi’. Wake up and smell the coffee people, this is the India we live in and the ‘morning after’ pill has probably replaced the morning coffee.

Our country’s borders aren’t big enough to hold the whole lot of us and we seem to be bursting at the seams. And so what does the wandering man do (read wandering Indian)? Well, he just hops onto a plane and says, “America, here I come”. Our people aren’t content with what they have here; agreed that’s human nature, namely the more you get the more you want. But what I really mean is, as if having dirtied the boulevard on M G Road or Cubbon Park wasn’t bad enough, we want to go and dirty Wall Street or Trafalgar Square or the Kruger National Park. Is this really what being an Indian is all about? Not really, some argue, saying that the ‘visiting Indians’ at Wall Street do not indulge in practices that would put the country to shame in the eyes of the westerners. How true, and this is where the Indian hypocrisy comes into picture. They sure don’t dirty Wall Street but have no problems dirtying Dalal Street because that wouldn’t be putting the country to shame in the eyes of our fellow citizens simply because ‘we are like this only’.

Racial prejudices against darker skinned individuals and in recent times towards Asians and Indians in particular have been on the rise. This obviously is because of the fact that we are better than the ‘firangs’ when it comes to skilled work. But make no mistake; our people aren’t any saints when they touch foreign shores. They indulge in all the vices that can be indulged in and some even make a living out of it. Set the vices part of it aside, and just consider the simple act of using the waste paper bin. When you go to any multinational company’s office or for that matter, any Indian government office, you will certainly find a waste paper bin. Go into any professional college, where the students are being molded into professionals, and you can be certain that in most cases you will not find one and even if you do, it would be gathering more dust from not being used. I can also go further and say that I did not find one in my classroom when I started my engineering.

The ‘chalta hai’ attitude seems to have been hard-coded into our systems, some kind of genetic anomaly. How else would you explain the action of a group of men urinating on a wall that clearly mentions in two languages ‘do not urinate here’? How can we justify the action of scores of children who throw their toffee wrappers out of the car window in full glare of their parents, contrary to what they would have learnt in school a few hours ago?

If you happen to be really sick or have met with an accident and an ambulance is the only hope to get to a hospital on time, then my sincere advice to you is don’t believe that sort of rubbish. In India, the general public hasn’t got enough time to care for themselves, why on earth would they care for some faceless entity inside the ambulance. In which country would you find vehicular movement absolutely undistracted by the sirens of an ambulance? Sincere advice again, don’t fall sick or grievously hurt yourself where the ambulance would be required because you would be better off without one in trying to reach a hospital.

Our country is the Republic of India. A democracy in the third world that has withstood the test of time and hasn’t fallen prey to a dictator’s wet dream. A democracy. Hah! What kind of people, living in a democracy would be crazy enough to vote for the Communist Party of India (CPI and CPI (M))? We democratically voted in the world’s first communist party in 1957 i.e. the Kerala government of 1957. I’m sure the rest of the world would have had a good laugh at our expense then as they do now since we have the bloody commies giving support to the union government and dictating terms to the government. How could the founders of the constitution even dream of allowing such a concept and not spot the anomaly that has crept in and do something about it?

If you think I consider myself a patriot and do not fit the description of the above-mentioned types of people, that I probably am a role model for all Indians big and small, young and old, forget it! Don’t waste time thinking about what I think of myself, but think if you fit the bill of an Indian, who upon doing what he does in free India, is called a ‘bloody Indian’ when the same actions are performed in a foreign land. If you do, I have good news for you; you are in the majority, and I have a dirty feeling that you and those majorities are here to stay for quite some time.

You’re probably wondering where I picked the title for this article. Well, a friend of mine was on a safari in the Kruger National Park along with his parents, father’s friends and a few other westerners, one of whom was a big, domineering German lady. After emptying a can of soda, a desi threw the can out of the truck they were traveling in. And the German lady bellowed, “You bloody Indian, pick that up!” He deserved it, we deserve it but our country sure as hell doesn’t deserve it.


minkey chief said...

Nice article. And most of all, I'm so glad your friend got bellowed at. If I was on the bus though, I'd have been very angry with the German lady for shouting "bloody Indian"... strange huh?

Vivek.M said...

Great article dude. Your friend deserved it! Hope he has learned his lesson.


they say india is doing great well here is what greatness is:
us dollar rs.40.00
pound sterling rs.82.00
euro rs.54.00
canadian dollar rs.38.00
sing.dollar rs.27.00
australin dollar rs.35.00

so whats the valus of indian currency.a pity indian currence is going to the dogs.

Arjun said...

That bitch had no business saying that. Somebody should've shoved her out of the truck. Along with the guy.

Manohar said...

agreed! nicely put, a bitter truth needs to be taken with a sugar candy. It's about time we realize the world is becoming "glocal" village and we ought to be par excellence.

Anonymous said...

She may use any other word other than bloody indian. First you should not post it in public forum if you are real indian. What effort you have done other than blogging like this. There are persons who are born in dust bin who dont know any thing about what you acquired durlng your life. In how much public places in india we have built dust bin and public toilets. You got a chance to get education. If you born as child to a begger you will not be here to discuss this. All like you are trying to act like westerners. In india some bastards importing electronic waste etc which are very toxic and western bastards just exports their waste while getting money. So no any bloody westener has right to say that..... -KKG

Karthik Shetty said...

Dear KKG, I have just posted a factual account of what happened, and I am not justifying any sort of generalisation. The person who threw that soda can out of the vehicle was a well educated person, probably someone who knows how to use a computer and the internet like you and me, and I'm sure he even knew that it was a wrong thing to do. What effort I have done? For one, I don't throw garbage on the road, and when I see others doing it, I make sure to tell them, or pick the stuff up myself and throw it in the bin. And the westerner who called that person a "bloody Indian", well, I'm sure she did so only because she probably has seen many Indians do the same thing in her country. Also, I'm sure she doesn't personally export toxic e-waste to our country, so you can't blame all westerners just like how you rightly said that all Indians can't be blamed for the incident.
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